Convicted Civility
It’s hard to imagine that a year from now we will be less than a month away from the 2024 Presidential election. As we ramp up to this election we know this next year can be tense as it always seems for politics.
I’m not here to tell you how to vote, but I do want to challenge you in how you lead in this poitically charged and divisive times.
And to lead faithfully in this cultural moment requires us to live with convicted civility.
My family and I live in the greater Philadelphia area.
We love living in the Northeast for many reasons.
The people here are loyal, passionate, and proud, but you may have heard that Philadelphia is not known for its politeness.
The people are seen as direct, gruff, blunt, and at times, rude.
It’s why some people have even dubbed it Negadelphia and the City of Brotherly Shove.
Many people in Philly will tell you what they are thinking, whether you want to hear it or not. It may hurt to hear the truth, but there’s no doubt you’ll receive it anyway.
At times, I’m asked to speak at events in the Deep South.
With each visit, I find myself greeted with full-on hugs of warm hospitality while I’m handed a glass of tea sweet enough to choke a horse.
The kindness is palpable.
·Yet despite the kindness and countless bless-your-hearts, I learned a little secret about my southern friends: they aren’t always telling me the truth!
Afraid to offend or upset the apple cart, these Southern folks, at times, choose to lie politely.
While my passionate neighbors in Philly major in truth and minor in kindness, my warm-hearted friends in the South often major in kindness and minor in truth-telling.
Religion scholar Martin Marty stated: “One of the real problems in modern life is that people who are good at being civil lack strong convictions and people who have strong convictions lack civility.”
Some people major in conviction and minor in civility. Others major in civility and minor in conviction. But we must choose to double-major. We need strong conviction united with graceful humility.
The apostle Paul wrote when we are “speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Eph. 4:15).
I want to offer you six principles for us to live with convicted civility.
(1) We must live by our convictions.
We are not called to be pushovers. We stand for what is right as we believe it through the Scriptures and through our interaction with the Spirit and with other wise followers of Jesus.
They preface their thoughts with statements such as,
“Well, I’m not one to judge but….” or
“There are lots of ways to look at it, but I feel…”
Feelings are good – but believe in something!
Instead of starting statements with “I feel” start statements with “I believe” or “I’m convinced that…” or “I have a strong conviction that….”
Stand behind something you believe in!
Speak and live with the conviction to honor and be faithful to Christ!
We must speak and live with the conviction to honor and be faithful to Christ, all the while knowing that on occasion, our stance will be unpopular.
As leaders, what we’re after is not popularity, but faithfulness.
As followers of the One who claimed to be the truth, we must stand by, with, and for the truth.
(2) We must live by our convictions, but we must be civil in doing so.
While we need to speak with truth, we must be kind and respectful.
As one young twentysomething shared with me recently, “I don’t have to be right to feel loved. But I have to be dignified in the disagreement.”
To live faithfully in the overlapping reality of Jesus’ kingdom means we live with the willful conviction that we must work shoulder to shoulder with people, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
Chuck Colson wrote, “The obligation to show respect for others does not come from a soft sentimentalism but is rooted in the theological truth that we are all created in the image of God.”
We must be honest and also honoring.
(3) For those of us who consider ourselves followers of Jesus, we must also remember that we are called to respect our government, but worship our king.
We are in an intense era in American politics—in all of American life, really—wherein people are trying to convince us to join the side of the donkey or the elephant.
As Christians, our calling is to follow the Lamb wherever he goes. It is not ultimately about red states and blue states; it’s about purple, the color of royalty.
“Jesus,” as pastor Tony Evans said, “did not come to take sides. He came to take over.”
Yes, go out and vote – and vote with all wisdom and conviction – but we should never look to our candidates as saviors or models of morality. They are vehicles, but they are not rescuers.
We pledge allegiance to a king and a kingdom, and because of this, we don’t need to be afraid.
Yes, there are important issues at hand—war, poverty, immigration, human trafficking, taxes, drugs, racism, abortion, sexism, and other complex social, economic, and political issues that require attention, concern, and care.
And the command is one of the most repeated in Scripture: do not fear.
The political machine is designed to thrive on making people angry, scared, or both. And when we are fearful and feel unsafe, we become unkind.
But the call of Jesus is this: do not be afraid.
(4) How matters.
The Puritans had a wonderful phrase, “God loveth adverbs.”
How you do things matters. You can do the right thing the wrong way and it becomes the wrong thing.
Listen to this great advice for us in this election season:
“I met those of our society who had votes in the ensuing election, and advised them
1. To vote, without fee or reward, for the person they judged most worthy
2. To speak no evil of the person they voted against, and
3. To take care their spirits were not sharpened against those that voted on the other side.”
What amazes me is that this was not written by a wise American politician or a popular author or podcaster. It was penned by Methodist Church founder John Wesley in his journal on October 6, 1774—almost 250 years ago.
What you say reveals what you believe; but how you say it reveals what (and who) you value.
(5) Don’t settle for tolerance.
But ultimately, when we talk about convicted civility, our sacred call is to be more than civil. To describe God as simply being nice or remaining civil leaves us with a shallow, inaccurate, and anemic view of the Creator.
Our culture screams for tolerance; Jesus has a different approach: radical compassion.
Can you imagine John 3:16 beginning with the words, “For God so tolerated the world that he gave his one and only Son…”? Niceness and love are two different things. Nobody wants to be just tolerated.
In the political climate in which we find ourselves, one of the most countercultural ways followers of Jesus can live is to humanize those who are different from you.
(6) Finally, when you disagree, don’t immediately disengage.
Commit to disagreement without disengagement.
Pastor and author Rick Warren wisely stated:
“Our culture has accepted two huge lies: the first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”
As Christians, we can’t succumb to these two lies. Doing so pushes us toward damaging forms of tribalism—which are petri dishes that rapidly spawn the bacteria of division.
As I close, I want to be clear in sharing that in no way this is an easy thing to do.
This is complex and messy. And we won’t always get this right.
When we don’t live with convicted civility, may we be the first to admit it.
Confess, ask for repentance, go first.
Show humility in making things right – be the first one to offer it.